“When you decided to divorce, you knew what you were trying to escape.  You can describe it in Technicolor.  But now you face a new problem – what lies ahead?  Building a life after divorce is as demanding as building a marriage.  Just as a marriage license makes any kind of marriage possible, a divorce sets into motion – but does not shape – the post divorce family.  Both you and your soon-to-be ex-partner will need to determine who lives where, who cares for the children on a day-to-day basis, and how your responsibilities as parents will be shared or not shared.  Will the post-divorce family continue the disappointments that marked your marriage or will it be a fresh start?  Will it add new pain or will it help you and your children to create a much happier family? How will you and your spouse get along after the breakup?  How will your new lover get along with the children?  Or with your soon-to-be ex?  You’re entering the divorce with far less information about what’s ahead than you had when you entered your marriage. If you’re to protect your children and yourself, you’re going to have to learn a lot of things very fast.”

--  What About the Kids: Raising Your Children Before, During and After Divorce. Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, 2003, Hyperion.  Authors note: if you read just one book about divorce and children, this should be it.  (See a review in “References and Links.”) introduction page XII.